Cats. So Many Cats

 I do not own cats. I do not like cats. Cats are rude and obnoxious. They smell. they bite, they shed, GOD they shed, but somehow every morning I wake to this. Three or more cats in my bed at one time. When I met my land lady she informed me that she had "a few" cats. A few is one, two, or three. I have witnessed at any given time, six different cats roaming my halls. I chase them off my bed, honk them out from under my car and try not to hear as they scratch late at night on my windows attempting to escape the bitter cold. "No," I tell them, "You cannot sleep here, I will not give you shelter." I mean honestly what are they going to do turn me more into a beast? I don't think so! After almost three weeks of this< I just about lost my mind, I woke up with my black band tee's covered in tons of hair, I heard purring everywhere I went and eventually one of the unnamed felines did his business on my bed. Yes MY BED. Took a piss while looking me dead in the eye. I ran up to him screaming I swear he winced and peed harder. So that was it. I had had it. So, I now have my own secret weapon because the pig just wasn't doing it, he was scared to death of the cats.




This is Lola Gilda Henri.
She's basically a cat, but a dog. Cats quiver with fear at the very sight of her. Her curly paws and her terrifying energy keeps the purring squatters away!
She has the key to my heart.